“It is tough to stay single in this world where everybody expects you to be with somebody. What they fail to realize is that staying single is not about having no choice. Rather, it’s an opportunity to make intelligent choices.”

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Steve Jobs’ speech: How to live before you die



Jobs, Apple Inc. co-founder and former CEO, died at age 56 after years of a highly public battle with a rare form of pancreatic cancer.

On June 12, 2005, Jobs delivered a commencement address at the Stanford University in Palo Alto , California .

In his 15-minute commencement “storytelling” in front of Stanford’s Batch 2005, Jobs admitted that “this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation,” before proceeding with his “three stories” about how he kept on moving forward.

Below is the full transcript of Jobs’ speech as published on the Stanford University website:

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park , and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.  

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Guidelines for a beautiful life

1. QUIT WORRYING:

Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you?

Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

 

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:

Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY

to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can’t help you until you turn

it over to Me. And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all… God. I can take care

of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take

care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

 

3. TRUST ME:

Once you’ve given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in

Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials.

Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list.

Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list. I want to

help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:

Don’t wake up one morning and say, “Well, I’m feeling much stronger now, I think

I can handle it from here.” Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It’s simple.

You gave Me your burdens and I’m taking care of them. I also renew your strength

and cover you in my peace. Don’t you know that if I give you these problems back,

you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about

them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:

I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy..

Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I’m in control.. But there’s one

thing I pray you never forget. Please, don’t forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU!

I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life.

I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having

a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

 

6. HAVE FAITH:

I see a lot of things from up here that you can’t see from where you are. Have faith in

Me that I know what I’m doing. Trust Me; you wouldn’t want the view from My eyes.!

I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.

Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just

doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:

You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget?

That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you.. Share your joy with

those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who haven’t heard any in

such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith

with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:

I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences.

You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades,

travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can

you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle

something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just

because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should

always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND:

Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress

like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try

to get along, for My sake. I created each of you different in some way. It would be

too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.

 

10. LOVE YOURSELF:

As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for

one reason only — to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.

Love your neighbors. But also love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you

so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me.

Don’t ever forget……

 

 

Rather than focus upon the thorns of life, smell the roses and count your blessings!

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Do’s and don’ts of texting

Combine the convenience of a cell-phone call with the privacy of an email, and there you have the latest, greatest way to keep in touch with someone you like: texting. These days, nearly everyone’s exchanging mini-missives with his or her amour. That said, there’s a right way and a wrong way to get your message through — and while texting has cultivated many a relationship, an equal number have foundered because the texters didn’t adhere to a few simple rules. Follow these helpful tips, however, and they’ll turn you into a texting expert in no time, not to mention aid in cultivating some warm-and-fuzzy feelings between you and your intended.

Do text on noteworthy occasions
Texts are a great way to let the object of your affections know that he or she is on your mind — especially when a response isn’t really required. “One text-worthy occasion is the morning after a great date,” says Regina Lynn, author of The Sexual Revolution 2.0. “A text saying, ‘I had a great time last night’ or ‘Thinking of you’ is less intrusive than a phone call but very sweet.” Other prime texting times would be if your date has mentioned an important upcoming meeting or event. Sending a quick “Good luck at your meeting; you’ll do great!” beforehand or a “Hope your interview went well — looking forward to hearing about it” afterward are the equivalent of little love darts into your honey’s heart. Keep ’em coming!

Don’t text when a phone call would be better
Though it can get addictive, having endless and lengthy text conversations in place of voice-to-voice action is a bad idea. Why? It’s all about making that human connection. “Texting is OK for simple exchanges of information — meet me here, see you there — but I want to hear my girl say hi,” notes Adam Dreyfus, 37, of New Canaan, CT. “I was dating a woman who texted me all the time, but it wasn’t the same as being at work, stressed out and behind schedule, then hearing the phone ring and hearing her voice. Just a simple ‘hi’ can make everything right in the universe.” So if it’s been a number of days since you’ve spoken to each other, consider picking up the phone to remind your sweetie what you sound like. Also keep in mind that texting can often be more cumbersome and time-consuming than a phone call, so before you compose your text, ask yourself: Would a phone allow us to hash out our plans more quickly? If so, save yourself (and your date) the trouble and use the phone.

Do flirt with caution
Nothing can break up a mundane work day better than a few texted sweet nothings… but if you’re thinking of steaming things up, proceed with caution. It’s all too easy to risk offending the recipient with a message that’s a little too titillating, too soon. “You shouldn’t start with dirty words. Some people do not want to see certain words on their phones,” warns Lynn. “I would begin with some general flirting — I want to kiss you, or something similar — and see what the other person says back.” If the recipient responds in kind and even escalates (example: asking questions like, “What else did you like about last night?” are an obvious welcome sign), feel free to up the ante slightly, with racier confessions. In short, before you dig into full-on dirty talk, you should pave the way with numerous texts that make it clear this is the direction you’re going and that the recipient is fine hearing them.

Don’t text at odd hours
Just as you wouldn’t call at all hours of the night, you should not text anyone then, either. “Always be sensitive to what the person is likely to be doing,” says Lynn. “For example, don’t text before 10 a.m. unless you know for sure he or she gets up early and enjoys mornings. Don’t text after 10 p.m. either.” Not only could you wake the person up (cell phones still make sound when they receive a text), even if your date’s cell is turned off, he or she can still see you texted at 3 a.m. — and that makes you look inconsiderate, needy, or just plain weird.

Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say in person
Hiding behind your phone is a surefire way to start a new relationship out on the wrong foot — especially if what you’re trying to avoid saying in person is important. “I once dated this guy who chose to text me about having an infection,” recalls Sharlene Smithers, 32. “I wasn’t as bothered by the revelation so much as I was bothered that he texted me about it. It felt like a cowardly way out, and it left me wondering what else he was incapable of communicating to me.” It’s best to save texting for fun and flirty notes or where-to-meet-what-time plans. Save heavy conversations and those first “I love you’s” for face-to-face chats.

Carly Milne

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